Utopia (3): To play amnesia or not?
October 24, 2006 Leave a comment
17:36 the mobile is ringing with Paulie on display.
– “Hi, Paul!” I bet he can hear that I’ve anticipated this call. With hope.
– “Hi, on my way. Few minutes, ok?”
– “Right, I’m waiting.”
– “Ok, see you.”
– “See you.”
Few minutes later he is standing on my doorsill. Fair guy, normal figure… well – I’m not description master.
– “Hi, Paul, nice to see you,” I feel relief even I’m still not sure how to ask him for help.
– “Gav… well, how are you?” we moved to the kitchen bar.
– “Hard to say,” I opened the fridge. “I’m going to the party, no problem there. Or at least I hope I’m going… Do you want something?”
– “Sure, but something softer to be able to drive.”
Great, and what that should be like? I wasn’t sure if there is permitted blood alcohol level here.
– “Well, name it!” I performed best smile I could in the situation.
Paul took a look into the fridge and says: “Ah, gin and soda… not so much of gin of course.”
I performed the operation although I’ve never served this drink and chose beer for myself.
– “Eh, no gin today?” Paul was evidently surprised.
– “Not today.” I don’t like gin at all. “Well, and now my problem.”
– “Fire it out.”
– “Problem is that it isn’t quite common problem and I’m afraid you’ll not believe me.”
– “Well…” Paul’s face reflected glimpse of umbrage so I decided to go directly to my problem.
– “It sounds strange, but I woke up today and I remembered nothing.”
– “Uff,” Paul is naturally bewildered. Moment of silence follows so I decided to continue.
– “You know, unknown flat, unknown city, I never saw the computer system, I don’t even know you…”
– “Well, ok, ok…” Paul’s stopping me with his hands up. Again a moment of silence but I see that he wants to express something so I’m just waiting. “Well – you’re right that it’s hard to believe, because I’ve never met this phenomenon before. But at least I’ve heard of it. 🙂 … However you were fine in the comdev so I really wouldn’t say you don’t know me.”
– “Well… I was frightened a little, so sorry. I played it somehow but because you was the first person I communicated with and you sounded fine I wanted to talk to you – and so I’m doing now.”
– “Is it like amnesia?”
– “Well – not really…”
– “…I hope you know amnesia.”
– “Yeah, don’t worry. I know much more. And that’s the problem. I don’t have missing memories by myself. I remember everything until yesterday’s evening. I went to sleep and suddenly I woke up here.”
– “You wanted to say you remember some different life?”
– “Completely different, yes… maybe except the profession because I was Java developer in my world before.”
– “Ah, sorry – programming language – it’s similar to Arto from what I saw so far.”
Paul held up for a second in order to think it through.
– “So you don’t know if you’re Gavin?” he asked finally.
– “No, I don’t know – and I’m much more convinced that I’m someone else. I remember my name and also strange thing is that I know my picture in the mirror. It’s like to be suddenly in his body.”
– “Well… I really don’t know what this can mean to anyone of us. You simply can’t be Gavin if you’re not… Oh, how stupid sentences can come out from such situation!” he tittered although it was obvious that he takes it pretty seriously. “Now – I really don’t know what to do. I guess that you have something on your mind and you wanted me to help you… or something.”
– “Yes, Paul – I hope you don’t mind when I call you like that. I simply want to supply Gavin while… I really don’t know until when. However, I’m here and it would be much easier for everybody if I can do what he could as best as I can. You could treat me as a foreigner – yes, I am foreigner – but please. I told you because I need to take foot in this world and I really need someone’s help.”
Paul started to think about the things just said.
– “More soda?” I asked.
– “With gin even…” he smiled sadly. After few sips he continues: “When you take it like this – then yes – you’re stranger. I don’t know what to do. You look right, still I might call doctors or police maybe but I’m not sure if it is for any good. So… you told me and you need my help. So let’s presume that I have a reason to trust you. We will see what to do with you. Now – how should I treat you?”
– “Let’s play – or how to call it – that I’m Gavin with a little – well, more than little obviously – amnesia, ok? Is it suitable for a while?”
– “For a while. Yes, I think it could be good for the start. And now the help part. I would help Gavin with anything.” Now he smiled rather cunningly than sadly and it was fine to see it.
– “Well, I need a crash course in this world. And also – I’d like to know who I should know, how and if I should tell him amnesia cover-story or truth.”
Paul raised his eyebrow and asks: “Why would you want to tell something other than truth to anyone?” And of course he got me with such straight question.
– “Well… in my previous life it was better not to tell the truth sometimes. Or not whole truth.”
– “Gavin, Gavin… you really need that crash course. 🙂 I bet that you – and I mean old Gavin now – will be missed by many of us, but you – new Gavin – shouldn’t lie. Not just because he never lied. Simply because you want to achieve something and you want to be someone. Never … now I don’t know if you use strong swear words sometimes…”
– “…go for it. ;-)”
– “…so just never fuck up with anybody’s trust. Because even f-word can’t express how bad it will be with your credit afterwards.”
It wasn’t such a difficult decision for me. “Don’t worry, Paul. It’s really easier to tell the truth for me. At least I can’t fall into my own web of lies. I just didn’t know… you know.”
– “Well I don’t know – I simply can’t imagine the reasons for that question… but ok, you asked, I answered the question. Now you know.”
– “So, first important fact is here” – I pointed at my head – “already. Now just the rest of that crash course.”
– “Oh,” he giggles. “Just the rest of the course! … OK, do you mind if we continue on the party or do you want some part here? You have to say.”
– “Right. Ok, few more questions here if we’re not in time pressure and than the rest.”
Paul checked the clock on the wall (17:59): “No, we’re pretty far from time pressure.”
And so I entered my crash course in my new world.