Utopia (11): Way to Caren

The evening passed by very quickly – surprisingly quickly considering my anxiety. But when I asked Caren to tell me something about Arto programming language we dug into topic we both liked. We also danced a lot. Suddenly there were only me, Caren, Paul, Martin and one little woman from Martin’s team working as graphics artist named Zina Becker (well – what a combination). I danced much more than during any other fun evening in last few years and I was pretty satisfied – and tired already. 🙂 I was just hanging on because I didn’t want to be the first one out. However… Martin stopped and said:
– “Ok, I’ve enough…”
And because we all shared the same feeling we all stopped with similar message and returned to our table.

– “So… one last beer?” asked Paul.
– “I’m pro,” said I. Now I realized that Paul drove us here. “BTW: How are you driving home?”
– “Ah… no problem with that. I’m taking cab now and tomorrow I’ll come along with Denis. I’ll pick up the car during the lunch I guess.”
– “Aha…”
– “Actually I planned to take you home.”
– “I’ll handle that,” Caren entered the discussion.
– “A…” Paul’s head went up during the moment of surprise. “Ok! :-)”
– “I hope you didn’t want to leave him alone now,” Caren smiled.
– “Yeah, that’s right.”
Zina was obviously uninformed:
– “Why can’t be Gavin alone?”
– “Well…” Paul shrugged, “Gav?”
– “Well… 🙂 I completely forgot everything from my past prior this morning. To put it this way…”
– “Uff!” Zina didn’t look exactly believing.
There was a silence for a few seconds and then Caren said to me casually:
– “I was wondering if you know what you’ll be doing tomorrow?”
– “Eh,” I chuckled and after some tense second I answered. “No! :-)”
– “You want to say that you don’t remember anything? No work, nothing?” asked Zina.
– “Exactly,” I replied. “However – I have some Arto crash course accomplished. :-)”
– “Well… it really doesn’t sound funny.”
– “It isn’t,” I admitted. “On the other hand I’m rather enjoying it now. It’s interesting to get know all the people… maybe again.”
– “But… you’re in a real trouble. You have to get know the others, you have to get know even yourself and of course also your work, your previous knowledge.”
– “Yes, I realized that already.”
– “But maybe you’ll remember something,” Zina tried to cheer me up.
– “Maybe…” although I was pretty much convinced that that won’t happen.

Later in the cab… I’m sitting next to Caren on the back seat while Paul, who has similar route like us, is on the front one.
– “So I guess you’ll make it to the work tomorrow,” Paul is saying.
– “Well, I plan to,” I have to smile. “At least I have some guidance.”
– “We might be a bit late, but nothing extreme,” Caren is in a good mood too – obviously.
– “If you are late I’ll be thinking it’s because of the drinking.”
– “Yeah, my head suddenly starts to ache,” Caren holds her head.
– “I’m a bit curious what you two plan tonight.”
– “Paul, I have no particular plans… so far… I really don’t know,” Caren is dimpling.
– “OK,” Paul’s curiosity isn’t satisfied, but there’s nothing he can do about it.
– “Is there anything I should be worried about?” I’m asking.
– “No,” Paul is tittering. “I really don’t think so. :-)”
– “BTW: There are no problems with relations at work?”
– “Well,” Paul sighed, “there can be problem, but generally – there is none. There are pairs in our teams. And it’s also hard to prevent that something emerges between two people anyway. While you’re doing your job I have no problem. There is also no legal framework that would cover such a trivial things. It’s clearly everyone’s personal matter and it’s his responsibility to handle his work appropriately.”
– “Right…”
– “Are there some problems in your world with such a thing?” Caren asked.
– “Well… some companies don’t like to see couples within teams for whatever reason – but generally I guess it’s bearable. And it’s not legally forbidden either. Only in organizations like army and such…”
– “Yes, it’s the same here, but there are reasons for that.”
– “Maybe there is the difference that we take the couples with clemency,” Caren chuckled.

Caren lives in a flat house – just like me. I was completely lost in the city when we get off the cab although I didn’t care. Caren linked her arm with mine and guided me to the entrance.
– “Now I realized,” started I, “wouldn’t it be less risky for you to come to me?”
– “Well,” Caren smiled, “yes and no, I guess. Now I risk that you know where I live – nothing more. You’re easily traceable in this world so I’m not afraid of what you can do to me. And so far I feel very well in your company. On the other hand – if I judge you right – you’re normal person and in that case I have more power and better control in my flat, you know. ;-)”
– “Better control?” I hardly can resist to laugh. “Of what? :-)”
– “It depends. I still don’t know what I want. Yeah, I guess I’m still flirting with you – as you do with me – and I really don’t know what I want.”
– “Ok, fair enough. I’m rather… slower when I’m uncertain. So just keep me that way and you’re in control.”
– “I don’t want to keep you uncertain just because of this. If I know something I’ll tell you, ok?”
– “Ok.”

And so we’re standing in front of her door and she’s opening (yeah, again, fingerprint) and I try to relax and not to spoon anything to myself and just let the things flow.
“Welcome into my kingdom, Gavin. Feel yourself comfortable – like you always did.”


About virgo47
Java Developer by profession in the first place. Gamer and amateur musician. And father too. Naive believer in brighter future. Step by step.

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